HOME ALONE

Came back yesterday evening. It's my first day here on my own without B. Well to be exact, the first few hours. ;P

Anyway, after being away for one whole week, there's of course clean-ups to do. So right after dinner of instant noodles, I started working. Then around 10.20pm or so, I started feeling tired 'cus it's been a long day. So took my shower and hit the bed at around 10.50pm.

Thought I'm just gonna doze off since I was feeling so worn out. But who knows, the longer I lie there, the more awake I got. Ended up couldn't sleep!

I finally fell asleep at around 1.00am or later, I guess... Nonetheless, I kept on waking up throughout the night. Just couldn't sleep well without B by my side... Gosh, and I gotta work tomorrow... Why now? Didn't have this problem back home at parents'... But I guess it's because I was used to sleeping alone there anyway, so it's just back to good old days.

Anyway, I woke up looking like a panda this morning. So B, you owe me tons of rejuvenating eye treatments and eye creams for putting me through this. ;P

AWAY FROM EACH OTHER

B joined a new company today. To mark his first day, he is required to travel to Barcelona for 3 weeks. Sigh... He’s at the airport now actually. The flight is scheduled to depart at 11.25pm.

I should be happy for him, I know. But this is the very first time that we have to be apart after we’re married, so it’s hard... Really, really hard... By the way, we’ve been married for a year and 4 months now. Time flies, eh?

Anyway, I’m back home at parents’. B sent me off earlier at the airport this afternoon. He thinks that I’d be able to adjust to the change better here. So at least I won’t be home alone, feeling depressed and indulging in self-pity. Most importantly, my parents can help to take my mind off it by keeping me occupied, feeding me good food, etc... And I have to admit that it is working so far. Well at least for now. :P By the way, I’ll be here for one whole week. :>

All that said, being apart from B is not a totally bad thing afterall. It actually has its good points too! Know why? ‘Cus he bought me a new notebook! Hahahaa... Good exchange, right? I won't get to see him for 3 weeks, but I get to keep the notebook for as long as I want. But mind you, I'm not a person who is so easily influenced by material gratifications! Haven't you heard of "distance makes the heart fonder"?? ;P

Anyway, the last time he was away in Chennai, he got me my baby guinea pig, Margaret.

Now I wonder... What will I be getting next when he travels again? ;P Perhaps I should start a wish list! Hehehee...

By the way, miss u, B... And thank you for the notebook! ;P

TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

“To be or not to be” is probably the best-known line from drama or literature. Certainly, if anyone is asked to quote a line of Shakespeare, this is probably the one that will first come to mind for most people. It is, of course, from Shakespeare's play ‘Hamlet’, 1603.

The actual meaning : “Is it better to live or to die?”

However, in layman terms, it simply implies a person’s dilemma when it comes to making difficult and major decisions.

So what can we do when we’re faced with this kind of situations? To take chances and risk losing something in the process? Or to play safe and risk regretting the decision in the end? Tough choice.

What I’ve learned is that there is no right or wrong to a decision. Only whether it is what you really wanted for yourself. We may consult as many family and friends as we would want in the process, but at the end of the day, the choice is still in our hands. No one can really tell us what to do ‘cus this is our lives and thus, our call.

And most of the times, we’ve already known the answer – but somehow, we lack the confidence or shall I say, guts, to take that one step. Ask that little voice inside you, and you’ll know that it’s true. Hehehee…

Anyway, gathering opinions at the initial stage is really about gathering opinions. No doubt about that. But as you go along, when hours turn into days and days turn into weeks… Chances are you have already made up your mind. But deep down inside, there’s a part of you that says “Hey, are you sure? What if this… What if that…” And you’d go through the whole process all over again.

However, at this second stage, it’s actually more like trying to gain some reassurance. When somebody comes up with a reason that points towards your supposedly ‘decision’, you’d be feeling so much better, like you’re almost confident with the decision. “Don’t wanna think so much anymore, I’ll just do it!” And suddenly, another person says something that points towards the opposite direction, and there you go again!

Then how...???

Let me tell you something. Stop thinking, just do it! Just take the risk and see how things turn out – with due considerations, of course. It’s not easy, I know. But with proper deliberation and taking all the factors into account, you’ll be able to see it.

Have you wondered what prompted you to even think about it in the very first place? It’s the desire for change! Doesn’t that ring a bell?

Anyway, trust me, it is a never-ending dilemma. Unless you do something about it, it has no ends! This is because every time you think about it or be presented with the same situations, you’ll be going through the exact “What if…” process all over again, hovering over a stale topic (pardon me).

Unless, unless if you are able to let go of it totally and be at peace with yourself. Or else, looking down the road in 10-20 years to come, it might be too late ‘cus time waits for no man. So it’s your choice. Yes or no, take action now! Most importantly, no regrets...